In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
