he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
