She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
