dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
