I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize