You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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