Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
