i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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