We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
that may or may not have been my penis.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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