I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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