Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize