So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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