also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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