Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
