Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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