Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
