I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
