I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Your tits are I can't wait for
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
