Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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