We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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