Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize