I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
