4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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