your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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