My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
