Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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