Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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