Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
only if we run a train.
done.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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