currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
