that's an acceptable place to lick
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
