I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
how does that bad decision feel?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
