Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
