I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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