I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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