At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
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Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
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Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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