so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
