Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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