I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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