I just saw a hot homeless man
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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