My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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