He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
