OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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