I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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