awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
