so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
