put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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