Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
