you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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