Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize