It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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