are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
