Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
