Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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