How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
