Umm I'm too high to move.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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