What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
