i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
being pregnant is like rehab
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
