Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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