she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
